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minutes together without opening his lips; and when he did speak,
it seemed the effect of necessity rather than of choice--a sacrifice
to propriety, not a pleasure to himself. He seldom appeared really
animated. Mrs. Collins knew not what to make of him. Colonel
Fitzwilliam's occasionally laughing at his stupidity, proved that he was
generally different, which her own knowledge of him could not have told
her; and as she would liked to have believed this change the effect
of love, and the object
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on and on, liking to hear himself talk, and
every little while he fetched in his funeral orgies again, till the duke
he couldn't stand it no more; so he writes on a little scrap of paper,
“_Obsequies_, you old fool,” and folds it up, and goes to goo-gooing and
reaching it over people's heads to him. The king he reads it and puts
it in his pocket, and says:
“Poor William, afflicted as he is, his _heart's_ aluz right. Asks me
to invite everybody to come to the funeral--wants me to make 'em all
welcome. But he needn't a worried--it was jest what I was at.”
Then he weaves along again, perfectly ca'm, and goes to dropping in his
funeral orgies again every now and then, just like he done before. And
when he done it the third time he says:
“I say orgies, not because it's the common term, because it
ain't--obsequies bein' the common term--but because orgies is the right
term. Obsequies ain't used in England no more now--it's gone out. We
say orgies now in England. Orgies is better, because it means the thing
you're after more exact. It's a word that's made up out'n the Greek
_orgo_, outside, open, abroad; and the Hebrew _jeesum_, to plant, cover
up; hence in_ter._ So, you see, funeral orgies is an open er public
funeral.”
He was the _worst_ I ever struck. Well, the iron-jawed man he laughed
right in his face. Everybody was shocked. Everybody says, “Why,
_doctor_!” and Abner Shackleford says:
“Why, Robinson, hain't you heard the news? This is Harvey Wilks.”
The king he smiled eager, and shoved out his flapper, and says:
“Is it my poor brother's dear good friend and physician? I--”
“Keep your hands off of me!” says the doctor. “_You_ talk like an
Englishman, _don't_ you? It's the worst imitation I ever heard. _You_
Peter Wilks's brother! You're a fraud, that's what you are!”
Well, how they all took on! They crowded around the doctor and tried to
quiet him down, and tried to explain to him and tell him how Harvey 'd
showed in forty ways that he _was